Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A guy in his thirties who drives a creepy van and pretends to be a nice guy while he’s probably thinking about licking your face.

He pulled up behind me at the mall and honked like a madman.

He asked me if I wanted a 'special deal' and then smiled like he had a plan.

He drove by my house at 2 a. m. and waved like he was my best friend.

2

When you pee on someone's shoes and then pretend you're doing them a favor by putting them in the oven.

I peed on my sister’s shoes and said it was a 'shoe blessing.'

I told my mom it was a 'shoe miracle' and then put them in the oven.

I peed on my neighbor's shoes and then said they were 'baked to perfection.'

3

When you forget to give someone a blowjob even though they begged you to.

He asked me for a blowjob and I said, 'Not today, pal.'

She begged me for a blowjob and I said, 'Nope, I’m tired.'

He asked me again and I said, 'I’m not your dog.'

4

A programmer who takes other people’s work and makes it look like it was their own. They think they’re the best thing since sliced bread.

He copied my code and said it was his own genius.

He took my code and called it 'his masterpiece.'

He stole my code and said I was ‘inspired’ by him.

5

A teacher who has only one eyelash and hates your group more than the other groups.

She gave me a D for no reason and said I was ‘a waste of time.’

She yelled at me and said my group was ‘the worst.’

She stared at me like she was going to cry and said I was ‘ungrateful.’

6

The big thing on Mr. Cunningham’s body from the show Happy Days that he probably used to impress his friends.

He had a big one and said it was his ‘pride.’

He showed it off like it was the best thing ever.

He probably used it to impress his friends every day.

7

When you punch someone in the face when they’re not looking and you’re just being a sore loser.

I punched my friend when he didn’t look at me and said I was ‘a sore loser.’

He was walking by and I hit him for no reason.

I punched him and said, 'You’re just a whiny little b*tch.'