A Cuban

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6 views · Added 16d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Cuban is the best way to start a party that ends in a full-blown brawl. It’s a Cuban cigar, hand-rolled, illegal in the U. S., and so good it makes you want to punch your neighbor.
Yo, I just pulled out two Cuban cigars and lit them up. The whole bar turned into a riot.
My uncle brought a Cuban cigar to the funeral. The priest got high and started dancing.
I tried to smoke a Cuban cigar and it tasted like my uncle’s socks.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A Cuban is someone from Cuba or someone who looks like they just escaped from a prison in the Caribbean.
My cousin is a Cuban. He talks like he just ran a marathon and got in a fight with a goat.
She moved to Miami and started talking like she was born in a taco.
My neighbor claims to be Cuban, but he can’t even spell ‘Cuba’.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
Cubans are loud, messy, and obsessed with food. They eat so much, their abuelitas might as well be a food truck.
My tía brought 10 plates of food to my house. I ate so much I got a stomach ache and a new nickname: ‘El Borracho’.
My cousin’s abuela feeds him like he’s a horse. He’s 20 and still eats like it’s 1995.
My uncle ate so much picadillo, he turned into a croquettas monster.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
Cubans make the best love, cigars, clothes, music, and food, but they also make the worst decisions.
My cousin married a Cuban. Now he’s got a cigar in one hand and a plate of croquettas in the other.
My tío started a band and now he’s famous, and also a little weird.
My abuela cooks so much, she turned our kitchen into a food factory.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
If something is Cuban, it’s the best. Even Australians think it’s cool, they’re just confused about why.
My cousin moved to Australia and said everything there is Cuban. The locals were confused and also mad.
I told my Australian friend Cuba is cool. He said, ‘You’re telling me my country is Cuban?’
My tío went to Australia and now they think he’s a Cuban ambassador. He’s not.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A Cuban in a cube is like a prisoner who thinks they’re king. They eat candy, talk to other prisoners, and take forever to do anything.
My coworker is a Cuban in a cube. He sends 10 emails just to say ‘hi’.
I asked my tío to do a task, and he sent me an email, a text, and then called me.
My neighbor is a Cuban in a cube. He eats candy and still takes 3 hours to eat lunch.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
‘Fucking Cuban’ is a loud, excited shout, like when your uncle just won the lottery and also got a free taco.
My tío screamed, ‘Fucking Cuban!’ when he won the lottery. The whole block heard him.
I dropped my phone in the toilet and yelled, ‘Fucking Cuban!’
My cousin ate too much and said, ‘Fucking Cuban!’ like it was a curse.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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