A Crunch

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#bowel_mayhem#poop_apocalypse#gut_war

8 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Crunch is when your guts go full war zone. It’s a poop so intense it feels like your body is trying to rip itself in half. People will literally forget their own names during a Crunch.
"I woke up at 3 AM because of a Crunch. I don’t even remember my own name right now."
My dog ran away because of my Crunch. That’s how loud it was.
I had a Crunch so strong, my neighbor asked if I was having a heart attack.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A Crunch is when you’re in the middle of a life-or-death situation and you’re the only one who can save the day, but you’re also the only one who’s still wearing pants.
"I had to Crunch through a wall to save my sister. I’m still wearing the same pants from 2012."
He Crunch-ed through the fire and saved the whole team. He didn’t even burn his eyebrows.
She Crunch-ed through the lava to save the kingdom. Her feet are still smoking.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A Crunch is when you do sit-ups, but you’re too lazy to actually do them right. You just bounce up and down like a sad, tired potato.
"I did a Crunch today. It took me 20 minutes to do 3 sit-ups."
My Crunch was so bad, my mom asked if I was in a trance.
I did a Crunch for 3 hours and still didn’t feel it.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A Crunch is when someone’s personality is so loud and obnoxious, it turns your whole group into a bunch of tired, confused zombies.
"My friend is a Crunch. Every time she speaks, I feel my brain shrinking."
He’s such a Crunch, I had to take a nap after talking to him.
That girl is a total Crunch. She’s like a scream in a classroom.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A Crunch is when you’re trying to flirt with someone so hard, you’re basically throwing your soul at them like a meatball at a pizza oven.
"I did a Crunch on my crush. I even said, ‘You’re my soulmate.’ Then I cried."
She did a Crunch so hard, the whole class turned around.
He did a Crunch on me and then asked for my number. I said no.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A Crunch is a fancy name for a bunch of people who like to wear weird clothes and do weird stuff in a weird place.
"I went to a Crunch and saw people wearing fishnets and doing the twist. It was weird."
My friend joined a Crunch and now he talks to rubber chickens.
I went to the Crunch and my face turned red from all the weirdness.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
To Crunch is to poop so loud it sounds like a bulldozer is tearing through your intestines. It’s also when you’re so proud of your poop that you start doing math in your head.
"I Crunch-ed so loud, the whole street heard it. My neighbors called the police."
She Crunch-ed and did long division at the same time. It was impressive.
He Crunch-ed so hard, he broke a calculator.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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