a cow

The ultimate cow. He’s the reason your wife acts like she’s royalty. He’s always smirking like he’s got a secret, and he’s got that voice that makes you want to text him ‘have a good nap’ just to hear him laugh. He texts you back even when you send him 500 messages in one day. He’s the kind of guy who makes your heart flip and your app crash.

A dumb way of saying ‘slow down’ but in Hebrew. It’s like when your grandma tells you to take your time, but she says it in a way that makes you want to scream.

Stupid, clumsy, and brain-dead. He’s the kind of person who forgets how to walk and can’t remember his own name. He’s basically a walking disaster.

A British woman who’s the worst. She’s the kind of person who yells at you for no reason and thinks she’s the best. Especially when she talks with a Glasgwegian accent. It’s like listening to a shouty drama queen.

A long moan that goes on for forever. It’s like when your dog cries for 10 hours straight. It’s annoying, it’s loud, and it’s the worst.

Anything that isn’t a cow. It’s the go-to answer when you don’t know what to say. It’s also the tag you use when you’re too lazy to think of anything else.

The only place in Reisterstown that people from outside know about. It’s where everyone goes to eat ice cream and do nothing. If you go alone, you’re the lamest person. If you don’t go, you’re not really from Reisterstown.