a count

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6 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A South Carolinian way of saying something is either totally rad or completely trash. You're either worth a count or you're not.
This new restaurant is worth a count. I ate three plates and still wanted more.
That guy got fired. Not worth a count. I'd rather eat dirt than work with him.
My cousin's new car is worth a count. It's got more shine than my face after a long day at the gym.
2
A person who's so useless they might as well be dead. Like a broken toaster that still won't make toast.
My neighbor is not worth a count. He spends all day yelling at squirrels.
That guy at work is not worth a count. He can't even make coffee properly.
My ex is not worth a count. She dated a man who owns a donut shop and still left me for a pizza guy.
3
The pimp of Sesame Street. A total beast. He counts every day his hos are late with the rent.
Elmo's pimp is a count. He counts every day Elmo skips out on rent.
That guy on Sesame Street is a count. He's got more bling than my grandma's goldfish.
The pimp of Sesame Street is a count. He counts every day his hos miss the rent. That's how he stays rich.
4
A Southern way of saying something is bad. It's like when your mom says you're not getting any dessert.
That pizza was not worth a count. It tasted like my gym sock after a week in the trash.
That movie was not worth a count. I fell asleep before the villain showed up.
That job was not worth a count. I got paid in expired coupons and stale donuts.
5
A way for little kids to figure out how many cookies they want. Sometimes it's used to cheat in elections or to sell a million products.
My kid did a count to see how many cookies he wanted. He wanted 100. Now I'm out of cookies.
The company did a count to see how many phones they sold. They sold a million. Now they're rich.
The teachers did a count to see how many kids failed. They failed all of us.
6
Knowing how much weed you can get for a certain price. It's like knowing how much pizza you can eat for $5.
I did a count at the weed store. I got 10 grams for $20. That's a deal.
That guy did a count and got 5 grams for $10. I only got 2 grams for $10. He's better at counts than me.
That weed store does a count every day. They know exactly how much weed you can get for $10.
7
When your phone tries to correct 'cunt' into 'count'. Now people use it to say 'cunt' in a funny or cool way.
My phone autocorrected 'cunt' into 'count'. Now I say count instead of cunt.
My friend uses count instead of cunt. It's funny and cool.
My phone autocorrected 'cunt' into 'count'. Now I use count in every sentence.
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