a closing time

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5 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A girl you'd rather punch than take home, but closing time hits you like a drunk punch in the face, and you're stuck with her because you're too wasted to care.

'I took her home because I was too wasted to care. Now I'm stuck with her and her bad breath.', @drunkguy123

'Closing time is the worst. I took a girl who smelled like a dumpster.', @barhater

'I had to take her home. She was the last option. I think she passed out on my couch.', @lastoption

by Slangipedia 6d ago

The sad excuse to play that annoying song from the movie where everyone gets laid. It's played at the end of everything, like work, school, or your life.

'Why do we play that song every time we finish something? It's like the universe is mocking us.', @songhater

'Closing Time is played at my school graduation. It's so dramatic and annoying.', @graduationfail

'It's like every end needs that song. I hate it.', @songaddict

by Slangipedia 6d ago

Tom Waits’ first album was like a trash can full of weird stuff, and it all sounds like he just woke up from a 30-year nap.

'I listened to Closing Time and it sounded like a drunk man singing in a junkyard.', @musicnerd

'That album is weird and amazing. Tom Waits is a weird genius.', @tomwaitsfan

'I had no idea that album was from 1973. It sounds like it was made yesterday.', @musicnerd2

by Slangipedia 6d ago

A girl who looks okay at 2 a. m. but would’ve been the last person you’d have taken home if you weren’t too wasted to care.

'I took her home because I was too wasted to realize she was the worst choice.', @wastedguy

'She looked good at 2 a. m. but now I regret it.', @2amgirl

'I took her home because I had no better options.', @lastoption2

by Slangipedia 6d ago

Trying to get laid at closing time by grabbing the biggest, most drunk woman at the bar, and you might need a plank tied to your ass just to survive the fall.

'I tried to get laid at closing time. She was drunk and huge. I needed a plank.', @plankman

'Planking is my life now. I’m stuck with that big woman.', @plankinglife

'I tried planking, but I fell into her.', @drunkwoman

by Slangipedia 6d ago

Drinking every last drop in the bar before it closes, someone throws you out, or you pass out. You steal drinks and you do not care who you steal from.

'I drank every last drop in the bar. I didn’t care who I stole from.', @drinkking

'I drank everything before they threw me out.', @drinkfest

'I drank so much I passed out on the floor.', @drunkpassout

by Slangipedia 6d ago

The amount of time you think a boring conversation will end. It works for dinner parties, weddings, and relationships that are going nowhere.

'I thought that conversation would end in 5 minutes, but it lasted forever.', @boredguy

'At my wedding, I thought the speeches would be over in 10 minutes.', @weddingfail

'My relationship was over in 2 minutes, but I thought it would last forever.', @relationshipfail

by Slangipedia 6d ago