A Cinco de mayo

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A holiday where Mexicans in America get drunk and yell about how great their country is, even though they all left it for a reason.

My cousin drank 12 margaritas and tried to dance the salsa while wearing my grandpa's pants.

My aunt said, 'I'm Mexican and I'm proud, but I also hate tacos on Fridays.'

My uncle tried to start a fight with a guy who was wearing a sombrero and failed.

A fake history lesson that white people think is real, where a general and some burrito guys beat up some Mayans for no reason.

My teacher said, 'General Chimichanga was like the Mexican version of Batman.'

My friend drew a picture of Nacho Cheese with a mustache and a sword.

My brother said, 'Why do they still fight over fajitas?'

A holiday that white people love more than tacos, and they use it as an excuse to get drunk and embarrass themselves.

My neighbor tried to do a conga line in his pajamas.

My dad wore a sombrero to work and got fired.

My mom said, 'I'm not a Mexican, I'm a Mexican-American, and I'm not even sure what that means.'

A holiday that got ruined by a virus and taco tuesday, making everyone sad and stuck at home.

I was stuck at home eating pizza instead of tacos.

My friend said, 'I can't even drink tequila without a mask on.'

My mom yelled, 'This is the worst Cinco de Mayo ever!'

A party where people drink tequila and yell about how awesome Mexico is, even though they don't know what it really means.

My friend drank tequila out of a margarita glass and fell over.

My uncle did a dance that looked like he was possessed.

My brother said, 'I'm drunk and I love tacos.'

A holiday that started because of a mayonnaise disaster and a bunch of Mexicans crying about it.

My mom said, 'Mayonnaise was the death of my soul.'

My uncle cried when he heard about the mayonnaise ship.

My brother tried to eat a sandwich with only mayonnaise and it was terrible.

A party that happens in white neighborhoods where people get drunk and think they are Mexican, even though they aren't.

My friend tried to do a conga line in his driveway.

My neighbor said, 'I'm not Mexican, but I'm going to pretend I am.'

My brother wore a sombrero to a pizza party and it was awkward.