A Chicago Hangover

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A hangover so bad it feels like your brain was dipped in bleach and set on fire.

I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a bus and then asked to do a math test.

My head was screaming, my stomach was crying, and my soul was on a trip to hell.

I looked in the mirror and it looked back at me like it was judging my life choices.

The kind of hangover that makes you wish you were dead and already buried.

I didn’t know if I was going to vomit or cry, but I was definitely going to do both.

I felt like I had been thrown into a blender and then left in a hot car.

I tried to stand up and my legs said, 'Nope. Not today.'

A hangover so brutal it could make a saint swear and a dog run away.

I felt like I had swallowed a bunch of bricks and then someone hit me with a hammer.

I tried to text my friend and my phone said, 'You are not a human. You are a disaster.'

I looked at my coffee like it was my enemy and it looked back at me like it was plotting revenge.

A hangover so fierce it would make your mom cry and your dad run for his life.

I felt like I had been hit by a truck, then thrown into a pool, and then asked to do a backflip.

I tried to brush my teeth and my mouth said, 'You are not welcome here.'

I looked at my reflection and it said, 'You are a mess. Go home.'

A hangover that feels like your insides are fighting a war and you're the battlefield.

I was so sore I could have taken a nap and then asked for a medal.

I felt like I had been punched by a giant and then left in a sauna.

I looked at my coffee and it looked back at me like it was saying, 'This is not going to end well.'

A hangover so bad you think the devil is in your coffee and your soul is on vacation.

I felt like I had been through a blender and then asked to dance.

I tried to stand up and my legs said, 'We are not doing this today.'

I looked at my reflection and it said, 'You are not a man. You are a mistake.'