A Charlie Murphy

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When a charlie horse hits you so hard it turns into a murphy and makes you wish you were dead.

My leg felt like it was on fire and then it exploded. Charlie Murphy, baby.

I was walking and suddenly my leg went full horror movie. Charlie Murphy!

I ran a marathon and then my leg started screaming. Charlie Murphy!

Charlie Murphy is the blackest, most annoying older brother who rants about Rick James and fights Prince like he’s in a rap battle.

He talks about Rick James like he’s his best friend and Prince is his enemy.

He once said Prince was a ‘fancy ass kid’ and I believed him.

He’s on Chappelle’s show and still thinks he’s the king of the world.

Darkness is a nickname for a man so black he could swallow the sun and still look like he’s on fire.

Rick James called him Darkness because he was so dark, even the moon was jealous.

He’s like a shadow with a personality and a bad attitude.

He’s so black, he turned Chappelle’s show into a nightmare.

When you finish a big load in your hand and slap her face with it like you’re trying to teach her a lesson.

He said, ‘Charlie Murphy!’ and then hit her with his jizz like it was a curse.

He did it so hard, she got a face full of cum and a lesson in life.

He didn’t even wait for her to thank him. He just slapped her with his goo.

You punch someone in the forehead so hard you yell ‘Charlie Murphy bitch’ like you just broke their face.

He punched me so hard, I heard my nose crack and he yelled ‘Charlie Murphy bitch’ like it was a battle cry.

He hit me and said that line so loud, the whole street heard him.

He punched me in the face and screamed ‘Charlie Murphy bitch’ like he was trying to kill me.

You slam your partner’s head into the floor like you’re trying to kill them and it’s the most intense thing ever.

He slammed her head into the floor like it was a punishment from God.

He did it so hard, she thought she was in a fight club.

He pushed her head into the floor and said ‘this is why you don’t fight me.’

You kick someone so hard they might puke, pass out, or just die from the pain.

He kicked me so hard, I felt it in my soul and I thought I was going to die.

He kicked me like it was a competition and I was the weakest link.

He kicked me so hard, I swear my legs were about to give up on me.