A burdick

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5 views · Added 15d ago · 7 definitions

1
The laziest person alive. They’d rather sleep through a fire than get a job. They sit in a group like they’re the boss, but their finger is so far up their ass they might as well be a dog. Everyone else has to do the work while they eat Cheetos and pretend they’re important.
My cousin is a burdick. He’s been on welfare for 10 years and still says he’s ‘working from home.’
At the park, the burdick sat on a bench, eating a whole bag of chips, and told everyone he was ‘doing research.’
My neighbor is a burdick. He called in sick 17 times last month and still didn’t get a promotion.
2
A burdick is the hottest person you’ve ever seen. They’ve got a perfect butt, a great personality, and they know how to treat their family. If you mess with one, you’ll regret it for life.
My crush is a burdick. She’s got the body of a model and the brain of a genius.
My sister’s a burdick. She got a date with the mayor and still had time to text me.
That guy at the gym is a burdick. He’s got abs, a smile, and he’s got a degree.
3
To burdick is to waste time, skip work, and lie about being sick just so you can watch porn. You do it all while eating snacks and pretending you’re doing something important.
He burdicked all day, claiming he had a headache from ‘the flu of the century.’
She burdicked through her shift, watching cat videos instead of working.
My dad burdicked for three days straight, saying he had a ‘viral infection from the moon.’
4
A burdick is someone who uses 100 pages to write a thank you note. They get mad about a $1 discount and think Walmart is out to get them. They talk like a turtle and hide from the world like it’s their job.
He used five sheets of paper to write ‘I like pizza.’
She got mad because Walmart gave her a 50-cent discount on a $2 item.
He hid in his shell for a week after someone said ‘hello.’
5
A burdick is a spoiled, backstabbing, drama queen who thinks everyone else is the problem. They’re always the one who gets dumped but still blame the other person for it.
My ex is a burdick. She dumped me but still called me every day to say I was ‘the worst.’
That girl at school is a burdick. She started a rumor about me just because I got a better grade.
My mom is a burdick. She got dumped and still told me I was ‘the reason it happened.’
6
A burdick is a perfect person who is kind, smart, and has a fluffy dog that knows everything. They make parodies about the London Bridge and never stop being awesome.
My best friend is a burdick. She’s got a fluffy dog that knows all the secrets.
She made a parody of the London Bridge and it went viral.
She’s smart, kind, and she’s got a dog that’s got a soul of whole milk.
7
A burdick is someone who is always right, no matter what. They know everything, and if you disagree with them, you’re just wrong.
My brother is a burdick. He said the sky was green and it turned out to be true.
My teacher is a burdick. She said I was going to fail, and I did.
My dog is a burdick. He knows the answers to all the questions.
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