a-b porn

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4 views · Added 6d ago · 6 definitions

1
Porn that’s like a bad road trip, you only remember the good parts and skip everything else because it’s garbage.
I watched that whole movie just to rewatch the 10-minute part where they kissed.
My phone died after the first 2 minutes, and I still had a hard-on.
I fast-forward through the boring bits like they’re a bad roommate.
2
The kind of porn where you just want to yell at the people in it for being so bad at their job.
I had to pause the video every time he messed up his lines.
She looked like she was trying to remember what her name was.
He was so confused I thought he was doing a magic trick.
3
Porn that only has two good moments, you start at A and finish at B, and that’s it, nothing else matters.
I watched that video 12 times just to focus on those two parts.
I skipped the whole middle because it was like watching paint dry.
I only remember the beginning and the end, the rest was a blur.
4
The kind of porn that’s like watching a train crash, you know it’s bad, but you still can’t look away.
I watched it just to see how bad it was.
It was so bad I had to turn it off and then turned it back on.
I was laughing so hard I cried.
5
Porn that only has the good bits, you fast-forward through all the junk to get to the part that makes you cum.
I skipped the first 20 minutes just to get to the good part.
I watched it 5 times because the good part was worth it.
I had to rewind every time I missed it.
6
Porn that’s like a bad breakfast, you only want the good parts and throw the rest away.
I watched the first minute, then threw the rest away like it was burnt toast.
I skipped the middle because it was like eating a soggy waffle.
I only ate the good part and left the rest in the trash.
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