A 79

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10 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A number that shows how many men are too stupid to live, and the rest are too stupid to let them.

"79% of suicides are men? That means 21% are women? I'm the 21%", @DumbAssDad

"Why don't men just give up and die?", @DumbAssDad

"79% of men are dumb. I'm the 79%", @DumbAssDad

How long most people last before they die and stop being a pain in the ass.

"79? That's not old. That's just sad.", @DumbAssDad

"I'm going to live to be 79. That's my goal.", @DumbAssDad

"79 years? I'll be dead in 79 years.", @DumbAssDad

A sex position where a woman is on top, doing what she does best, but also being a total pain by sticking her finger up the guy’s ass for no reason.

"79 is the best position if you like getting fingered up the ass.", @DumbAssDad

"79? That's my favorite position. It's like 69, but with a finger up my ass.", @DumbAssDad

"79 is the only way to have sex if you're into anal stuff and dumb people.", @DumbAssDad

When a girl splits her legs open like she's trying to kill you with her hips.

"She did the 79 and I'm still trying to breathe.", @DumbAssDad

"79? That's how I know she's trying to kill me.", @DumbAssDad

"I don't know what 79 is, but it hurt.", @DumbAssDad

A version of 69 that’s like having a back pain and a side pain all at once.

"79 is like 69 with a twist and a backache.", @DumbAssDad

"79? That's like 69 but with scoliosis and hand cuffs.", @DumbAssDad

"I tried 79 and my spine was screaming.", @DumbAssDad

Like 69, but with a bigger woman, which means more pain and more pressure.

"79 is like 69 but with a bigger woman and a smaller brain.", @DumbAssDad

"79 is when the woman is too big and you're too dumb to handle it.", @DumbAssDad

"I tried 79 and I'm still sore.", @DumbAssDad

A car that costs more than your brain and has the style of a 1980s cafeteria.

"79 is a car that costs more than your brain and looks like it's from the 1980s.", @DumbAssDad

"I bought a 79 and it's like having a 1980s cafeteria on wheels.", @DumbAssDad

"79 is a car that makes you question your life choices.", @DumbAssDad