A 45th Presidential

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To grab, pinch, or slam another person’s junk like it’s a door you need to open.

The guy at the bar wouldn’t stop squeezing my crotch like it was a stress ball.

She got a 45th Presidential when the cop pulled her over and laughed at her phone.

My brother did a 45th Presidential to my sister’s math teacher during the school play.

To touch someone’s private parts with the force of a bullet and the shame of a toddler.

He did a 45th Presidential to my mom while she was cooking dinner.

At the grocery store, a man did a 45th Presidential to my aunt and left a trail of shame.

My uncle did a 45th Presidential to the mailman every Tuesday.

To make someone’s private parts feel like they’re being attacked by a swarm of bees and a bad decision.

I got a 45th Presidential from my boss after I spilled coffee on his desk.

The guy at the gym did a 45th Presidential to my cousin during her yoga class.

My friend got a 45th Presidential from her crush at the ice cream shop.

To give someone’s junk a high-five that they didn’t ask for and probably didn’t need.

My teacher did a 45th Presidential to me for talking too much.

At the movie theater, a man did a 45th Presidential to my sister during the romantic scene.

I did a 45th Presidential to my neighbor’s dog and it ran away crying.

To hit someone’s private parts with the strength of a brick and the dignity of a broken promise.

The guy at the bus stop did a 45th Presidential to my mom.

My brother did a 45th Presidential to my friend’s pet turtle.

At the mall, a man did a 45th Presidential to my cousin and left a trail of confusion.